Reflection

2020

I am sitting here on the very first day of the new year (2020) and can’t help but feel a little lost. I haven’t felt this out of sorts in a very long time. Everyone seems to have these grand resolutions including to being a better person, and I can’t help but feel a little jealous. Although I may never know whether or not they have actually succeeded with their goals, the fact that they have such ambition leaves me feeling void. Where is my desire to set goals and make changes?

Do I make goals for my blog? My sewing? Starting my own business? What about personal goals, do I wish to be a better person, more understanding, caring, kind and less judgmental. Let’s face it, those are things we all need to work on. Do I set a weight loss goal for myself or just vow to make healthier eating decisions? 

There are plenty of people who choose not to make any decisions for the new year, because realistically, most of those are never met and dismissed just a few months later. 

Growing Pains

What about personal relationships? Do you have any toxic ones in your life? How and when is it ok to let them go even if it hurts so deep? How does one reconcile the fact that it is ok to not put up with BS and cut ties? Deciding to let people in can be a dangerous task, but each time you hope for the best; and then it turns to shit. Literally leaving me disappointed in myself and those that choose to hurt me. 

Living with the consequences of our actions can be a hard pill to swallow and I am not sure how to move on from there. 

Maybe this is a good thing, maybe this is me growing without realizing what is going on. Growing pains are probably some of the worst things to experience, physically as well as emotionally. 

The one thing we all need to work on is working on ourselves, but where does one start? How do you know if you are making the right decision, or ones that will forever impact you negatively?  And most importantly, how do you stick to your goals? Where do you find the motivation to continuously change and grow?

Feeling the pain of some very important changes can be excrutiating, but it must be done to begin finding joy in one self again.

Here is to finding some clarity and direction very soon, because feeling lost is not a pretty thing. 

If you were looking for answers in this article, I am sorry to disappoint! I will however update this article as I hope to find my center soon. Make sure to sign up for our email list and check out the rest of our page; just click on Pickles below to get to our website.

Until then,

Toodles!